I'm just a little voice crying out from the desert, "Lord, I am here to do Your Will."



Friday, July 9, 2010

Remembering Salve Regina

I remember the first time I heard the "Salve Regina." I was at a Mass with members of the Catholic Daughters, which I had just joined. Fr. Tom Davis asked us to sing it and I was given a song sheet. I did the best I could as I can't sing very well and I didn't even know the melody. But somehow I can remember that day. The next time I sang it was at my first Carmelite Formation meeting on the Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel in 2006. When I walked into the entrance of Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in Raleigh, NC, and looked up the stairs at the stained glass window I knew I was home. I just knew with every fiber of my being that I was meant to be a Carmelite. After silent prayer in the church we prayed Evening Prayer, followed by the Salve Regina. To me it was the most beautiful sound I ever heard, all the voices of our Community blended together. It was like heaven.

Just one month later I traveled to Monument, Colorado to visit a dear friend of mine, Mari. We were going to take a whirlwind tour of Eastern Colorado and then onto Annaheim, California for the annual SCRC Charismatic Conference. We decided to drive up to the top of Pikes Peak, CO one day because by a wierd set of circumstances we had missed the train that goes up. When we got to the crest I was in a state of terror/euphoria, as I am afraid of heights and had just surrendered myself totally to the will of God and had a major religious experience, totally breaking down and sobbing. Let me explain that Pikes Peak is at an elevation of 14,000+ ft. and there are no guard rails. Literally, there is rock wall, a narrow road, and then nothing but down! On top of that, half way up the pavement disappears and becomes gravel...and there are many hair-pin turns with no margin for error. Plus, the incline is so steep that they have to check the temperature of your brakes going up and coming down to make sure they are safe. By the time we reached the summit I was so full of thankfulness and love for God. We parked and looked out at the expanse. The magnificent beauty of creation! This is where in 1895 Katharine Lee Bates, inspired by the beauty of Pikes Peak, penned the poem "America the Beautiful."

Mari asked a woman to take our picture. She was wearing a t-shirt which read "Carmel." Taking this as a sign that God was indeed ordaining that I should be a Carmelite, I went over to a place where there was an exquisite view and looking out over the side of the mountain at the fields and peaks below I sang out with all my heart the Salve Regina, so full was my heart of love and gratitude.

In 2007 I was facilitating our Charismatic Prayer Group, "Mary's Infant of Prague", and two new members were at the meeting that night. Juana, and her daughter, Sonia. They spoke very little English but I felt a strong connection to them and wanted to communicate. Sonia said that they were Marian and I asked if she knew the Salve Regina. She did and we sang it together at the end of the meeting. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. For years after that we attended Eucharistic Adoration on Friday nights from 10pm-midnight. During the last half hour we would pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet and afterwards sing the Salve Regina. This hymn had become so precious to me.

One time in 2009 at another Carmelite meeting I was again in the church at OLL saying Evening Prayer in common with our Community. While we were singing the Salve Regina I felt such a sense of unworthiness and wondered if I was truly meant to be there. My heart filled with sorrow, but our voices singing was so very beautiful. In my heart I told Jesus, "Lord, the house of Carmel is singing the Salve Regina." And I heard in reply, "Listen to your voice, you're singing also."

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